Jen’s Dance

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

Psalm 21:1 O Lord, in your strength the king rejoices,
and in your salvation how greatly he exults!
2 You have given him his heart’s desire
and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah
3 For you meet him with rich blessings;
you set a crown of fine gold upon his head.
4 He asked life of you; you gave it to him,
length of days forever and ever.
5 His glory is great through your salvation;
splendor and majesty you bestow on him.
6 For you make him most blessed forever; [1]
you make him glad with the joy of your presence.
7 For the king trusts in the Lord,
and through the steadfast love of the Most High he shall not be moved.

8 Your hand will find out all your enemies;
your right hand will find out those who hate you.
9 You will make them as a blazing oven
when you appear.
The Lord will swallow them up in his wrath,
and fire will consume them.
10 You will destroy their descendants from the earth,
and their offspring from among the children of man.
11 Though they plan evil against you,
though they devise mischief, they will not succeed.
12 For you will put them to flight;
you will aim at their faces with your bows.

13 Be exalted, O Lord, in your strength!
We will sing and praise your power.

This post is a rambling of my heart and hand. Though I am loved, I sometimes feel unlovely or unloved. I know what is true. I have family and friends and a God who loves me, and nothing I can do will change that. So this is the confession of a girl is search of right answers. Knowing that wisdom comes from God, I ask it from him concerning these things.

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Friends. For awhile I seem to have them, and then I don’t. I must say that I don’t have a “bosom friend” as Anne would say it. Somebody who hears all my thoughts and finishes my sentences just hasn’t consistently been apart of my life.

Am I weird? Is this true of most people? I love being near people, and I love spending time with people. But maybe I am not diligent enough at the effort? But even when I do try hard, it seems my friend is gone before I have them.

A friend of mine wrote a beautiful note about how wonderful friends are and how they bless your life. I couldn’t agree more. I fondly remember the times I spent when I was younger with my friends—even the sad times. For some time now, however, I feel I have been tossed about. I don’t consider most of my current friends, people I would confide in. Though some of us have grown closer, even in the past few months, I don’t see any real attachments. That is what scares me. I love my friends. I want to keep them. I just need to learn how.

Where to start? I am wondering who to trust, who to lean on, and who to love. I think I pick my friends wisely, but which of those people can I fully trust? Mistakes are made, feelings are hurt, and forgiveness takes place. So I am not assuming that my friends will be perfect. But who should I pick? Have I found that person yet?

I am currently the only single lady in my church at this age. I am currently the only single in my church at this age. Not, of course, to say that my married friends aren’t the same, because they are. They just have another. But this also is difficult in that I am a “lone reed” of sorts.

I don’t hear from my friends too often either. Does that mean that I should contact them more? What you reap is what you sow? I know that I need to stay connected and do my part, but I just don’t know what my part is. It seems, more often than not, that the more I try the more I push people away. Maybe this isn’t true, but it does seem that way. Trying too hard maybe? I just don’t understand, so it is easier to let it go and let them have you on their own terms.

I don’t have a degree in psychology or in human behavior, though sometimes I wish I did. I feel I would be able to understand people and the way they behave, including myself. But for now, I strive on in my duties. I work, eat, sleep. I strive to become a godly woman and hopefully someday a godly wife.

I hope and pray that my life would be about serving my savior.

“I will put my trust in him.” Hebrews 2:13.

A great article by Carolyn McCulley:
Though it was an unusual question, I understood it immediately: “How does a woman appropriately, biblically, humbly, and submissively go about ‘cracking the twigs and stirring the leaves?’ A friend of mine said that it seems like girls end up ‘breaking logs and throwing leaves’ too vigorously at times.” more…

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Proverbs 31:10-31

0 [4] An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself [5] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet. [6]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth; break forth, O mountains, into singing! for the Lord has comforted his people and will have compassion on his afflicted.—“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”—The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.—My soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.In Christ Jesus, then, I have reason to be proud of my work for God.—We also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.—I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

Neh. 8:10; Isa. 49:13; Isa. 12:2; Ps. 28:7; Isa. 61:10; Rom. 15:17; Rom. 5:11; Hab. 3:18

This last weekend, Junction City held their Scandinavian Festival. Hundreds of people come to watch singing, music, and dancing while eating abeilskevers, sausage, and meatballs. We were fortunate to see a group from Canada that did Ukrainian dances. Though I am only familiar with American ballroom dancing, these dances are not altogether foreign. Several times I felt like I should polka, though the dancers were choreographed and were performing great dances that filled the stage with up to 30 people. You can tell they were having fun. Smiles, and laughter together with dancing can bring about another sense of pleasure. Like food, dancing is something we should celebrate with and glorify God through. Though the people in this performance may not be saved, while I watched, I praised God for the varieties of unique cultures that He has given to the world.

Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion!
Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem!
Behold, your king is coming to you;
righteous and having salvation is he,
humble and mounted on a donkey,
on a colt, the foal of a donkey.